Not Quite Healed by Cecil Murphy

Author:Cecil Murphy
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780825442704
Publisher: Kregel Publications

1. www.menshatteringthesilence.blogspot.com

2. He refers to When a Man You Love Was Abused: A Woman’s Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation by Cecil Murphey (Grand Rapids: Kregel, 2010).

— 20 —

WHAT LIES HAVE I BELIEVED?

CEC

“I was abandoned by God,” Mike Lewis said to me. When I asked him to explain, he said, “My pastor was God’s representative to me and to the entire church. The pastor made that statement several times and informed the congregation that if we criticized our leader, we were fighting God.”

Despite the craziness of that logic, many men have had the same emotional reaction. “It felt as if God himself had abused me,” an altar boy said on a TV newscast.

Think of the implications if a boy believes his pastor or church leader is God’s specially appointed representative on earth. From such congregations I’ve heard outlandish stories of inhumane treatment from “divine” emissaries. One man told me his pastor-father frequently tied his hands above his head and raped him to “chase the devil out of you.”

He said he felt he was one of the worst sinners in the world, and his father convinced him that he deserved every bit of punishment he received. His self-loathing and fear became enormous.

A slightly less malevolent pastor said to his victims, “I want to rid you of the sin of lust. I’m going to help you overcome your evil lusts toward women.”

What happens to those “purged” souls after they become adults? One of them said, “If I can’t trust God, how can I trust anyone?”

On a call-in radio show, someone asked how I answered the question, “Where was God?”

“I didn’t become a believer until I was an adult,” I said, “so it wasn’t anything over which I struggled.”

He told us his painful story. “I was a Christian and was baptized when I was eight or nine. Right after that, the abuse started.” His pastor began the molestation about that time. “I want to believe in a God who loves me.” He went on to say that he read his Bible and attended church, so he knew about God’s love, “but I’ve never felt it. Will I ever truly believe that God loves me?”

I didn’t try to answer his question for two reasons. First, I didn’t know the answer. Second, I don’t see my role as providing solutions, but rather to care for hurting people and to wrap my arms around individuals when they hurt. I can’t give them insight or faith, but I can encourage them and let them know I care.

I urged him to get help either from a professional or from someone he could trust. I told him that I felt powerless to solve his problem and I didn’t try.

“I promise to pray for you every day for one full year,” I told him. “I call this my prayer contract with you. Please stay in touch with me and keep me aware of your progress.” I said that after a year, he could renew the contract if he wished.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.